We need each other
The community of Utøya participants had been established before the incident. When the attack came, these young people faced it together from the start. They tried to help each other and hide or escape together. After the attack was over, they were all brought to Sundvollen Hotel. Thus, the young people were united through large parts of the incident, and for a long time they could only rely on each other. In the subsequent period as well, they jointly attended funerals, hospital visits and memorial services.
It soon became clear that these young people suffered extensive consequences: grief, pain, guilt for having survived, as well as problems in sleeping and concentrating. The traumas were overwhelming, and they needed to find some way of being able to «return to humanity» (1). Perhaps not as the same individuals they had been before, but as people who could still find the ability to work, as well as love and meaning in life. We knew that their age made them vulnerable. At the outset, however, the fact that this would also offer some opportunities was not so easy to foresee.
When these young people returned home, the situation occurred that they only wanted to be among themselves. At the early stage, we in the social and healthcare services perceived their strong desire not to prioritise parental contact as a problem. We thought that they needed to come out of their «bubble» and be reunited with those near and dear to them. We soon realised, however, that the young people were facing very real challenges. They knew that their parents had been terrified and that time was needed for that fear to recede. They did not dare to tell them the whole truth, because they believed that it would be unbearable for their parents to hear about the extreme degree of mortal danger to which they had been exposed.
The main reason was, however, that they needed each other even more. They also needed to be open in a way that would be impossible if their parents were present. Many were restless and worried about their friends, and others had found a soulmate who had accompanied them when fleeing and with whom they wanted to share everything. It is also worth noting that in terms of developmental psychology, it was difficult (for the older ones) to return to their parents at a life stage where detachment from parents is natural.